Finding creativity again.
When I was a child, I spent a lot of afternoons dreaming about the kind of life I wanted to lead. This was a frequent activity, particularly before I internalized what society expected (and demanded) of me. While going through my old things at my mum’s house the other day, I found a notebook titled ‘Shalaka’s Choreography Ideas,’ which I had completely forgotten about. I trained as a dancer between the ages of 6 and 17, after which I promptly left any dancing for dark club basements. When I opened the notebook, I found an 8-year old’s scrawl carefully describing dance sequences for various early 2000s songs (Maneater anyone?). I hadn’t fully grasped recording things yet and had instead described the moves in painstaking detail so I could remember them later.
I also stumbled across my unique, handmade version of Harry Potter textbooks. I remembered this endeavour of mine a bit more vividly, possibly because I was just so damn proud of having learned every new detail that emerged in the Harry Potter books. The result was nine carefully bound (with ribbons no less!) little books detailing every potion recipe and how to take care of all your magical plants. I had drawn clear illustrations for the books and carefully used different colours to keep the books engaging — the textbooks are aimed at young kids after all. I remembered showing my parents these books and they were very encouraging (and perhaps slightly concerned that I should get out more).
Before 2020 upended the world on its head, I looked around for a sign of all this burgeoning creativity in my semi-adult life (are your 20s real adult years?) in London. I found myself wondering when I had last created something from scratch. Sure, I cooked some wholesome meals here and there but that didn’t seem to be enough. I think about the messaging most of our world starts handing out to children as soon as they hit middle school — blend, fit in, follow a path, pick a vague career path at 18 and keep working at it for the rest of your life, get married, have kids, buy a house, save money till you retire, hope you don’t die earlier, etc. I think about how little room this gives people to even consider a different life, especially when you spend a large chunk of your time worrying about what other people think.
2020 was horrific — there’s no doubt about that. But it gave us a chance to question the systems and structures that govern our societies across the globe. Many people found solace in baking banana bread and painting during the lockdowns, because they were finally free to do things simply because they enjoyed them. Fewer 2-hour commutes, unnecessary meetings, more time with family (where possible) and fewer forced social engagements were common experiences shared across the globe during the multiple (and in our case, ongoing) lockdowns.
Opening the doors to let creativity into your life again is as whimsical as it sounds. 2020, I was happy to see you go but I’m grateful for your role in creativity and I becoming close friends again. This time, I won’t let it go.
